Just a quick blog to check in, and also to share an update of a project I have been working on.
A year or so ago I wrote a blog about my miscarriage, and what I had learned so far through the experience. It has remained an issue close to my heart, as my exploration of the topic has continued. Grieving a miscarriage, as I am discovering, is not as simple as grieving a singular event – there are emotional tendrils connecting this loss to so many other areas of my life, past and present. When I open my heart up to feel about one aspect, the enormity of the issue can quickly become overwhelming, and often I retreat in fear. All these years later, it is still often at the forefront of my mind. I feel like perhaps I’m being shown that it’s kind of like a ‘cornerstone’ piece to my growth puzzle; that if I continue to engage emotionally with what needs to be felt as it arises, I will be lead all the way back to where it began, and shown what else needs to be healed along the way (a lot).
So when I had to choose a topic for an assignment to complete during the Divine Truth and God’s Way volunteer selection program in 2017, guess what came to mind first? You got it. I tried to fight with it; “no, there has to be something better than that”… “I don’t know where to begin with that”… “Seriously though, anything but that”… Eventually the fight was in vain and I began my study of the global issue of miscarriage, and the welfare of the unborn child in general.
The title of the project we were given was ‘Benefiting the World’.
I’d like to share with you the assignment brief, as it is possibly the most inspiring and relevant instructions for an assignment I have ever been given, in my countless years of study.
“Participants are to individually design and begin to implement a project which aims to resolve causes, or educate others about the causes, of a global problem.
This assignment is designed to encourage participants to think of ways to practically apply principles of God’s Love and Truth to global issues. For the project participants can create new systems, refine existing systems and/or deal with issues and problems that affect worldwide communities and the environment. Participants are asked to focus on the causes rather than the effects of a global problem. Participants will research and choose a subject they feel passionate about and come up with ideas in harmony with God’s Way to change, improve or provide a solution to the problem. Participants will create a project based on their ideas.”
We were required to develop a written submission composed of our action plan, and also give a 15 minute presentation to the group. Once I settled on the topic I wished to investigate, I felt really inspired. My initial project ideas spanned the vast reaches between tiny, short term goals of sharing my personal experience via a website, to huge long term and systemic change in parent education, sex education and the adoption and foster care systems. It became clear to me there was an important connection between miscarriage, abortion and other issues affecting unborn children such as disability and disease. When you start looking at addressing causes, things get seriously mega-sized, and fast!
I began to see that there has to be a way of gathering scientifically valid evidence for the true causes of all phenomena that occurs. Everything is measurable; it’s just about finding or creating the tools to measure it. Miscarriage is a phenomena I have experienced personally, and armed with that as well as some really useful information which has helped me to see and feel the truth about my experience, I think I have a pretty solid hypothesis to test.
My hypothesis is this: miscarriage is not arbitrary, but rather occurs as a result of emotions and emotional beliefs inside of the parents, projected at the child intentionally or unintentionally, which cause the child to pass prematurely.
I want to understand the wider experience of miscarriage. I want to see if any patterns emerge through examining other people’s experiences. I want to collect stories to begin to understand more about the soul and how it effects its environment. I want to share my story from a place of imperfection, humility and open-heartedness in the hope it might help others to reflect on their own internal belief systems surrounding their lost child. I’m not really sure yet how to accurately measure things pertaining to the soul and emotion. But I’m interested to learn.
So here is my beginning. I’ve created a website as a starting point for my rather large vision for protecting the welfare of unborn children.
It is currently a platform for both sharing useful information, collating current available research on the topic, sharing my experience, and hopefully gathering data from others.
Here is a short animated video I made about my miscarriage, as presented on the website:
One of my main aims is to research miscarriage, and learn more about how to study the soul. I think if a solid link can be established between emotions/beliefs and miscarriage, then this would indicate that indeed the unborn child is a highly sensitive and feeling soul.
That’s all from me for now. Feel free to go on over and check out the site, and share it with anyone you think could benefit or assist in my research.